You somehow managed to come down to the coffee shop today. You walked into my store and the bell rang so I walked over to the counter and saw your face hidden behind a large pair of sun glasses. So I walked away into the back and brought you over your necklace that meant so much to you, as well as a birthday present of a book im not sure if you will ever read. You told me that you were leaving to California today to look at a house your mother and her husband were looking to buy. That jump in my heart when I saw you from the back of the room plummeted at that moment and I tried to keep a straight face. I’m not sure if it worked, but you kept talking like it did. I was talking to you over the bar and you asked me if I was ever going to come over to give you a hug. In my confusion I walked around to the other side to the lobby and met you near the entrance. You put down the book and gold chain necklaces that sported a wooden anchor as well as the wrapped up and drawn on book I gave to allow your arms to reach the circumference of my body. I leaned in for a kiss but I guess you just wanted the hug because you dug your head right into the soft spot of my neck. We hugged maybe three times and on the last one I did manage to bite your jaw line (which I happen to know you like) and give you a kiss on your cheek. You seemed to look pleased and my heart melted a little bit. Then you left, and my hopes tried to find a safe place in my heart to crawl into.
I’m not exactly sure why I insist on recreating these moments in written word, but it seems important some how. Maybe it’s because these moments are very beautiful and I’m constantly looking for the beautiful moments in my life. Those are the ones that always seem to fade first when I’m crying in the crevasse of my bed with no one to hold on to, or a shoulder to rest my head on. Maybe its for an entirely different reason all together.
Maybe its because that was the last time i would be able to say goodbye to you
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